Believe Me
by pathera
Summary: The four times that people told Jim Kirk they loved him, and the one time he believed them. A four-and-one tale.


A/N: It's been a while since I posted a Star Trek five-and-one. Although, this time it's a _four-_and-one. I started this a while ago and have just recently finished it, so here it is! I welcome you all to the four times someone told Jim Kirk that they loved him and the one time he believed them. You can either read this as implied-slash or as simple friendship, whichever you prefer. Though, if it matters, I wrote it with the intention of slash. Please excuse any errors, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. Well, I own the movie(s) on DVD. And Shatner's _Collision Course_. And a few of TOS episodes on DVD. And Shatner's autobiography. But I don't really _own _any of it.

Believe Me

_I. Winona Kirk—the Mother_

She says it so many times that he's not sure if she's trying to convince him or herself. She says it softly and she says it loud; she whispers it over him like a prayer when she thinks he's asleep. She says it in a dull voice, forced through her lips on those days where she can't bear to look at him and see someone else. She says it from millions of miles away, her voice just slightly echoing, and he's not sure if it's the distance or something else that makes her sound like that.

She says it with tears in her eyes, touching his reddened cheek, holding him in her arms. She says it as she leaves him on a dusty planet. She says it kneeling in front of him, reaching for him. She says it when he recoils, when he stares at her as though she's a stranger. She says it with such persistence that he _almost_ believes.

He _wants _to believe.

But he can't. He just…can't.

* * *

_II. Sam Kirk—the Brother_

He doesn't say it often, because it's meant to be said without words. It's meant to be said in the smile, in the ruffle of hair, in the playful teasing, in the one-armed hug.

But he does say it as he slings the duffle bag of his shoulder, pats him on the head, and walks out the door. He says it then, pausing in the doorway, looking back with a bitter smile. He says it, as though those three words will make everything better. As though those three words will heal all the wounds. He says it with promises and conviction.

And he can't help but think, as his brother walks out the door and leaves him standing there, that every word was a lie.

* * *

_III. Carol Marcus—the Girlfriend _

As far as relationships go, she is one of the few serious girlfriends he ever has. It starts out fast and passionate and fierce and slows to something smoldering and deeper, and it's the first time he ever considers saying those three words that everyone puts so much stock in. He thinks long and hard and watches her when she sleeps in the crook of his arm, and he finally takes the plunge.

He says it.

And she smiles and touches his cheek gently and kisses him on the lips. She says it, but there's a hollow ring to her voice, subtle, subtle, but it's there. He has practice detecting that hollowness. He puts on a smile, but it's as much a lie as her words, and only a few days later they're drifting in different directions.

That's the last time he will ever speak those words unprompted.

* * *

_IV. Gaila Nichols—the Girlfriend_

Of all the people in the world, Gaila is the last person he expects to actually say those words. But in the heat of the moment she says it and he just stops, frozen. And then he stutters out whatever pops into his mind—_that is so weird—_and she stops, questioning, demanding, and he lucks out because that's the moment when Uhura comes in and he ends up under the bed.

But later, much later, he stares up at his own ceiling and wonders what makes people say things that they don't—_can't_—mean.

* * *

_V. Leonard H. McCoy—the Everything_

The thing about when _he _says it is that it isn't soft or mushy or sweet. It's said when he's lying in a bed in the medical bay, opening his eyes to see a scowling doctor hovering at his side. He's groggy and confused and he makes the mistake of asking _what happened? _to which there is a fierce response. Bones jabs the hypospray into his neck and growls at him _'you almost died, you idiot'. _This isn't something new, so it doesn't particularly bother him, but apparently he's breeched the extents of the doctor's limits.

Bones jabs another hypospray into his neck, harder than necessary and this is part of his punishment, and then leans over him.

"I swear to God, Jim, if you take one more stupid risk and try to get yourself killed…." The unspoken threat hangs in the air. "I don't want to ever see you in here again. I love you, dammit, and so does everyone else and if you keep _throwing _yourself into harm's way…."

He tunes the rest of it out, because he's heard it a thousand times, and he falls asleep with a smile on his lips.

And here's the reason why he believes it when Bones says it: When anyone else says those three words it's a declaration, a question, a half-truth, a lie. But when Bones says it…it's a fact.

* * *

A note about Gaila's last name: It seemed awkward to have everyone else have a full name and Gaila just be...Gaila. I'm not even sure that Orion's _have _surnames, but I gave her one anyway. The last name chosen, _Nichols_, is the last name of the actress who plays Gaila--Rachel Nichols. I also enjoy the irony of it also being the same as Nichelle Nichols, haha.

Reviews are _love_!


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